I'll skip the whole New Years thing and start with more serious things. First of all, i need to find a place, where i could celebrate my 18'th birthday. I asked mom, that maybe i can have the party at home, they'd leave for a day and could have to the house for myself for one evening. No, she said "Not in million years, as long as you are living in my house and i'm feeding you, there won't be any party, if perhaps, then only in the second house, but i won't go anywhere, do you hear me?!!" after hearing that i was pretty frustrated, because usually, when she gets like that, it's basically impossible to have a reasonable talk with her. She has very bad temper.
And my dad? Well, i'm afraid to talk with him, he's much firmer than my mother and he has some really bad experiences with booze. So when i, his little baby girl, go to him and ask:"Daddy, oh please, may i have a big party for my birthday, and since i'm getting 18, practically an adult, can i have some alcohol and could u go away for he night with mom and sisters and grand mom?", he'll probably just say some thing, like " Are you mad? You honestly believe, that i'll leave you home alone, with a bunch of teenagers? You? a person who can't be trusted in any means possible? You who you are supposed to be an example for your younger sisters? Liisi, just try to think straight for a second, i know u to that once in a blue moon, but please, just try! No, and no means no!"
What can i say, nobody trusts me, it's mostly like that because of my sister Liina, who has a big mouth, well she basically started talking about he amount of our drinks in the dinner table. For people who don't know what i'm talking about i'll explain, well we had a party few months ago in Loksa. Most of the school was there, so were i, my sister and her class + most of the gymnasium. It was a lot of fun and well most of the people were quite drunk, such as i and my classmates. So, at home, few days after the party Liina started talking about all the vodkas, ciders and beers that we both drank, but since i'm older than her, i'm the one who got the blame for drinking to much. And since that day, no one at home trusts me anymore.
I'm slowly trying to win the trust back, but it doesn't seem to work, every time when they begin to raise their trust in me, Liina starts to talk about the party again:(
It's an endless circle. I feel like i'm being held in a box, and if i don't do something soon, i'll suffocate. I bet my sisters have the same feeling, we all are being constantly told what to do, i'm just the only one who bitches about it.
There is one thing, that i'll try to evade. it's growing up to be like my mother, a person who knows where the parties are held, but never visits them. I've realized that stupid thing must be done in a persons youth. I hope that this year, i could be much stupider that last year.
And i hope, i can still have the party at home, with no parents and siblings.
